it was a fanfic moment, not a show moment, so at least there’s that
niq and i are writing a universe called WTFJH where, approximately, when stiles was about to go away to college he took a shot at derek and derek shot him down and told him to grow up, and uh, kind of broke stiles’s heart, but then everyone moved on and did other stuff and there was a distinct lack of pining. stiles dated other people, derek dated other people, stiles ended up in committed queer poly thingness in grad school, derek tried to marry someone and ended up naked in chris argent’s SUV at one point, and it’s been like five years since they’ve talked to each other when stiles calls derek out of the blue for urgent, immediate advice on a troll problem, and then hangs up to deal with it and doesn’t answer derek’s follow-up calls, so derek ends up driving out to make sure he’s not dead, and meets stiles’s boyfriend drew. drew is awesome and very laidback about weird shit happening, which is good, because you know, living with stiles. somehow derek ends up sort of kind of FAILING AT WORDS BECAUSE HE’S DEREK dating both of them, which confuses him more than anyone else.
but so, in one part of this story he’s explaining the thing with Heather (the woman who did not marry him) to Stiles, because Chris Argent is an asshat and also sort of Derek’s friend, but kind of a failcakes stalkery friend (which is you know, right up Derek’s alley), so he made vague threatening remarks at stiles about not hurting derek because a mopey alpha is just a pain to watch, and stiles was pretty confused. I have like 2/3 of this part of the story written so it’s bugging me I can’t just post it to explain this thing but it’s not done, it’s not getting done tonight, so—
Derek is explaining the convergence of failcakes that was his proposal to Heather. She was considering taking an out of town job, he told her he was a werewolf because he knew he had to do it before he proposed, and uh, you know frankly Heather reacted pretty reasonably to be like “I’ma have to think about this” and kick him out for a week. And then she thought about it and said no, partly because it wigged her the fuck out that she hadn’t known he was keeping a secret of that magnitude (like if she’d known he was keeping a secret just not what it was that might have been different?) partly because no really, out of town job offer she actually wanted, why did you try to make that choice harder Derek, why. But like, as he’s telling stiles about it, derek mentions he still has the ring
and stiles kind of facepalms at him because really derek, but he goes on, because he assumes derek has it in like a drawer in his house somewhere
and then derek asks if he wants to see it
because in fact it’s been in the bottom of derek’s wallet for over a year
it’s not like he gets it out and looks at it a lot? or ever? it’s more he couldn’t figure out what to do with it and like, he wasn’t angry at Heather, he didn’t want to get rid of it to get over her or something, but it’s just. there. and it’s worn a smooth, stretched place in the leather. and.
drew gets home as stiles is looking at the thing going wow wtf dude. this is before derek’s officially dating them because he fails at words and also he was trying to explain his relationship history of fail to get stiles to understand why it was a terrible idea to consider dating him, so drew’s amiable snark about things getting serious fast, well. drew is the best.
anyway stiles thinks derek totally one hundred percent needs to get rid of the thing and is pitching everything from pawn shop to epic LOTR quest and, yeah. I happen to know where derek eventually gets rid of it, but i’ll save SOMETHING for when i actually post the story, okay?
so anyway my job is dickwad, i can’t really talk about in public but suffice to say I am severely overdue a promotion and a raise and not likely to get either anytime soon. in the course of telling niqaeli about the latest dickwaddery at work, I went over to my purse to get out an illustration—company logo pin, which they give out for like, meritorious service or something—i told her i felt like they were giving me trinkets to keep me hanging on. Then i put the pin back in my purse and
A WHOLE FIVE MINUTES LATER GOT BACK UP to get the thing out again going help fuck my life I am Derek Hale I HAVE TO GET RID OF THIS THING HELP
it took me that long to realize
NOT TO MENTION I WAS CARRYING THE THING AROUND IN MY PURSE IN THE FIRST PLACE
it’s back in my purse by the way because I can’t think where else to stash it until next week when I have the opportunity to CHUCK IT IN THE PACIFIC
that is my plan, by the way.
but i keep going why is it still in my purse what is my life WHY AM I DEREK HALE